Soilent Kibble
I enjoy spoiling the 3 Shih-tzu puppies in the house rotten when no one is looking. Since I tend to be the one who disciplines them the most (superceded only by my Dad), I like to balance it out by pampering them for no reason when the opportunity arises. Often the means involve something called
"People Crackers", which are doggy treats made to resemble people. I suppose someone found it amusing and a tad bit ironic to have dogs devouring small, edible effigies of people in the professions that tend to be their natural enemies: dog catchers, doctors, postal workers, and so forth.
Currently the box of
People Crackers that's opened is filled with broken people. I've purchased half a dozen boxes in the past, and this is the first one where I've seen so many of the treats broken into small pieces. I feel as if I'm that lucky guy who won the magical "miscellany crumbs" box. The only real advantage is that I can divide the treats out into much smaller portions, and the dogs remain oblivious, since they're just happy to be eating.
I do, however find it rather macabre to now be serving to my puppies the tasty, edible body parts of their natural enemies. A lower torso here, a head there, a chest now and again. It's unnerving, since I now refer to this box of treats as "Torso Crackers." I half expect to make slurping noise like Hannibal Lector within the next few days. Which will probably scare the puppies, but they still won't leave without having eaten their assortment of liver-tasting limbs.
Even puppies have to have priorities.
Today's Lesson: People Crackers are not, in fact, made from people.
posted by Phillip at 4:47 PM
